The Forties Formula

There’s a moment, as a mother, when you look at your daughter and realise something is changing.
She’s quieter. More emotional. More critical of herself.
And you’re left wondering… is this normal, or is something deeper going on?
In this episode, we sit down with psychologist Dr. Emma Waddington and physician Dr. Gina Hel to unpack what’s really happening beneath the surface for girls today.
From earlier puberty and hormonal shifts to the impact of social media, friendships, and identity, this is a conversation every parent needs to hear.
Because the reality is, girls aren’t just growing up differently… they’re growing up under more pressure than ever before.
And if you’re a woman in your 40s, you might recognise something else too… parts of your own story reflected back at you.
We cover:
The subtle signs your daughter may be struggling
Why puberty is starting earlier
How hormones affect mood, sleep and behaviour
The impact of social media on self-worth
Why friendships matter more than you realise
The truth about body image in young girls
How to build connection before adolescence hits
What helps girls feel confident and supported
If you’re raising a daughter or trying to understand the pressures girls face today, this episode will shift how you see it all.
🤝 SPONSOR
Thank you to our sponsor Love, Indus
Enjoy 21% off with code TFF
👉 https://www.loveindus.com
🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS
Osler Health → https://www.osler-health.com
Us Therapy → https://www.ustherapy.sg
Untangled by Lisa Damour → https://amzn.to/4cWz8vc
Run Like A Girl (Always) → https://youtu.be/qtDMyGjYlMg
⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro
02:00 Signs your daughter may be struggling
05:00 Puberty and hormones
07:30 Emotional shift in adolescence
10:00 Brain development and social connection
11:00 Social media and self-esteem
14:00 Friendship dynamics
16:00 Loneliness and online connection
19:30 Body image and early pressure
21:00 Parenting influence and identity
27:00 Teaching girls to speak up
34:00 Body image in sport
39:30 Self-worth and achievement
41:00 The pressure to be everything
45:00 Parenting teens vs coaching

What happens when you realise the life you built wasn’t fully yours?
In this Forties Formula in Focus clip, Uma Thana Balasingham shares the moment everything cracked — and what it really means to start again.
In this Forties Formula in Focus episode, we revisit a powerful conversation with Uma Thana Balasingham on what she calls a “career quake.”
From building a high-performing career in tech to walking away from a marriage rooted in fear, Uma opens up about the quiet realisations that many women experience but rarely say out loud.
This isn’t about starting over for the sake of it. It’s about questioning the decisions you once made, understanding where they came from, and giving yourself the space to choose differently.
We talk about identity, grief, expectations, and the uncomfortable but necessary process of meeting yourself again.

The idea of “career quakes” and what they really feel like
Making life decisions from fear vs alignment
The identity shift when you step away from career or relationship
Why grief is part of growth
Learning to sit still instead of constantly doing
Key Takeaways
You can love your life and still feel something is missing
Not every decision you made was fully yours — and that’s okay
Growth often starts with discomfort
You don’t need to rush the rebuild
Meeting yourself is part of the process
⏱ Chapters
00:00 Questioning everything
01:10 Marriage, fear, and honest reflection
03:00 Following narratives that weren’t yours
05:10 What is a “career quake”?
07:30 Grief, identity, and starting again
🔗 Links & Resources
🎙 Listen / Watch The Forties Formula
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thefortiesformula
Website: https://www.thefortiesformula.com
All platforms: https://bio.site/thefortiesformulapodcast
☕ Support the show
Buy Me a Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thefortiesformula
Uma Thana Balasingham
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/umathana/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uma__raw/
👩🏽‍💻 Follow Us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefortiesformula
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thefortiesformula

This episode dives into the hidden emotional cost of being a high-functioning woman in your 40s. From conditional self-worth to the pressure of always “holding it all together,” we unpack why so many women feel exhausted, disconnected, and stuck despite external success.
You’ll explore how societal conditioning, caregiving roles, and achievement-driven identity create burnout and why the goalposts keep moving. Most importantly, this conversation opens the door to rebuilding a sense of safety, self-acceptance, and connection with yourself.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your life instead of living it, this episode will hit home.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• Burnout in women is often rooted in conditional self-worth, not just workload
• High achievement can become a way to seek emotional safety
• Sociocultural expectations shape women into caregivers at the cost of self
• Constantly “holding it together” leads to deep internal disconnection
Rebuilding self-acceptance is key to breaking the burnout cycle

The Forties Formula Podcast
https://www.thefortiesformula.com
Connect with us:
https://www.instagram.com/thefortiesformula
https://www.instagram.com/ranidhaschainey/
women burnout, burnout in 40s, high functioning anxiety, midlife women health, emotional exhaustion women, self worth women, perimenopause mindset, women 40s burnout, identity crisis midlife, caregiving stress women, high achiever burnout

If you’ve ever felt lonely despite having a full life, a career, a family, and people around you… this conversation will land.
In this Forties Formula in Focus clip, we revisit one of the most powerful moments from our full episode with Mimi Nicklin, where we explore why so many women in their 40s feel disconnected — and why it’s not your fault.
We talk about:
Why loneliness isn’t about being alone
The hidden cost of success without connection
Why “soft skills” like empathy are actually essential for survival
How modern life is quietly pulling us further apart
And what it really takes to feel connected again
This is one of those conversations that makes you pause and think… “oh, that makes sense.”
🎧 Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/xDuBymzL-I8?si=AhxgubSjMWQ1upEB
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – Why connection feels harder than ever
01:10 – “Please stop calling these soft skills”
02:30 – Why loneliness is hard to admit
04:00 – You can be surrounded but still feel alone
05:20 – The CEO story: success without connection
07:10 – Why connection is actually about survival
08:30 – Living longer through connection
09:45 – What empathy really means (and why it matters)

🔑 KEYWORDS women in their 40s midlife loneliness feeling disconnected emotional health women connection and wellbeing empathy and relationships midlife mental health high achieving women burnout social connection health why do I feel lonely communication interpersonal skills self improvement life lessons longevity
🏷️ TAGS #fortiesformula #womenshealth #midlifewomen #emotionalwellbeing #loneliness #selfgrowth #mentalhealth #workingmums #highachievers #connection

Reclaiming Body Confidence in Midlife with Amanda & Jasmin
Why do so many women in their 40s feel like their body has suddenly become a problem?
In this episode, Amanda and Jasmin unpack how diet culture, societal pressure, and years of conditioning shape the way we see ourselves — especially as our bodies change. From the emotional attachment to old clothes to the reality of navigating a different body, this conversation goes deeper than weight.
This is about identity, confidence, and learning how to feel like yourself again.
In this episode:
Why body image struggles often intensify in your 40s
The lasting impact of 80s and 90s diet culture
The truth behind “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”
Why clothes — not your body — might be the real issue
How to find styles that actually work for your current body
Navigating comments, microaggressions, and social pressure
What body positivity gets wrong — and what matters more
How to rebuild confidence without chasing your old body
Timestamps:
00:00 – Why body image feels harder in your 40s
03:39 – The “skinny feels” belief unpacked
07:18 – Body changes and clothing struggles
09:04 – Shopping trauma and fit frustration
12:19 – The emotional attachment to old clothes
14:41 – Handling comments about your body
16:06 – Body positivity vs reality
18:44 – Redefining strength and confidence
21:56 – Fashion industry challenges
29:47 – Meeting women where they are
33:01 – Finding what actually works for you
40:12 – Confidence beyond appearance
46:01 – Strength, identity, and midlife
50:31 – Final reflections
Resources & Links:
Beauty Sick by Renee Engeln
https://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Sick-Cultural-Obsession-Hurting/dp/006246978X
Supporting Eve Lingerie
https://www.supportingeve.com
The Forties Formula Podcast
https://www.thefortiesformula.com
Connect with us:
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/thefortiesformula
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@thefortiesformula