Decoding Attachment Styles

It is frustrating when a partner can't give you what you need especially after they promised or implied they could. 
We try to change them - or their mind. 
We hope they can change and become the person we thought they were when we first met. 
We struggle with the fear of the relationship ending, lashing out with hurtful words, doing things that causes more damage - and then regretting them all when we are calm. 
This episodes walks you through what you can do before the damage is done. 
Breathing tips as promised in this episode -
Practice 5 minutes a day and build from there
Focus on your breathing and learn its natural rhythm before you do anything. 
Intentionally breathe deeply - in and out. 
Ask your doctor about box breathing exercises and if it's right for you. This is great for calming the nervous system and helping us respond with clear intentions instead of reacting.
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Are the manipulating you by telling you what you want to hear? It's a lot deeper than this and this episode breaks it down. 

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Today I'm answering three questions I get asked constantly. And I picked these three on purpose, because they build on each other. The first one is the controversial one: can a fearful-avoidant actually have a successful relationship WITHOUT going to therapy? People want me to say no. I'm not going to say no. But I'm also not going to give you the comfortable answer.
The second question is one almost everyone struggles with: how do I know if what I'm feeling is anxiety, or if it's a real need I should actually honor? Because those two things feel identical in your body, and most of the internet can't tell you the difference.
And the third one is personal, and a lot of you have felt it: "I feel abandoned every single time my partner goes off to a team dinner or out with friends. How do I get over this?" We're going to take that one apart together, because the real answer isn't what you think it is.
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If you ever thought healing your attachment was impossible - here are two other people who were able to do it. 
Today I did something I never did before - I had a discussion with who I have witnessed working on healing their attachment styles. 
This episode gives you three certified coaches walking you through what healing looks like, our experiences in our past and current relationships, how attachment styles shows up and how we all react differently to triggers from a secure space. 
We are excited to teach you everything we know. 
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It’s crushing when your avoidant partner disappears. But why are they doing it...and what can you do. 
On of the most disruptive things happening in avoidant- anxious relationships is when the avoidant partner suddenly disappears without an explanation. 
We want to understand their motives, explain how this hurts us, try harder but perhaps if we understand why they tend to do this we can rest at ease - or make some hard decisions that will benefit us. 
This podcast is meant to guide you if you're going through this or if you've gone through this. 
For my book - From Anxious to Secure - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/from-anxious-to-secure
For my mini online program - Boundary Bootcamp - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/boundary-bootcamp
To book a session with me - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/book-a-session-with-me-ui52g6pv
To Subscribe to School of Attachment - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/weekly-coaching-tools--strategies

Disclaimer: I am a certified coach with a psychology background, not a licensed therapist. The content I share is for educational and informational purposes and is based on Attachment Theory principles. I am currently funding and researching a personal project on attachment behaviors and feelings with 175 individuals. This page is not a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. Please use discernment and consult a qualified mental health professional for personal advice.

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