Grief Magic: Rituals, Stories & Gentle Conversations about Loss

This week I'm continuing a new tradition on the podcast: picking a topic, then answering the questions the internet is actually googling about it. This time it's ritual and grief, and I found three questions that apparently hundreds of thousands of people are searching for answers to.
First, what's the point of a ritual if I don't believe in anything? I talk about my own strange, unstructured relationship with ritual as a kid, little altars on a shelf, a phase of visiting different places of worship in Hamburg, none of it religious in any formal sense, but all of it meaningful.
Second, how do you build a grief ritual with no religious background? I walk through some of the questions I'd ask myself first, what my relationship to belief actually is right now, whether I want something small and daily or bigger and occasional, whether it's about letting go or about holding on.
Third, and my favourite: is it strange to talk to someone who's died? Short answer, no. I get into continuing bonds theory, the research suggesting that maintaining a relationship with someone after they've died is a completely normal and even healthy part of grief, not something to move past. I share the notebook where I write letters to my mum, and why I've made peace with not knowing exactly what's happening when I feel her presence, only that it feels good and that I'm not the only one who does it.
Here is more info about the Soft Grief Club: https://griefmagic.com/club
Thanks for listening!
Love,
Yarrow

I've talked about being neurodivergent for years, but there was always something that felt a little scarier about naming my autism specifically. I want to be brave about it now, so today I'm finally talking about my adult autism diagnosis.
Obviously I'm not a medical professional and I can only speak from my own experience, but I know there are so many of you listening who are maybe autistic too, or wondering about a diagnosis, or just curious, so I hope this helps somehow.
This felt like a second coming out, in some ways bigger than the first. I share some UK statistics I dug into along the way: how many of us are estimated to be autistic here, how autism and ADHD referrals for adults have tripled since the pandemic, and the role social media has played in that. I also look at why my own hesitation to share this has been so tied up with work.
In the end, I am excited to grow older, to stay weird and to share with you all <3
Here is more info about our monday sessions: https://griefmagic.com/club and here is the link to send me a voicenote: https://www.speakpipe.com/yarrowm
Love,
Yarrow

I've been listening to a podcast called Recoverable, and I love how they find the most Googled questions on a topic and just answer them. It felt like such a generous, democratic way of making something, and a lovely way to normalise the questions we're often too embarrassed to ask out loud. So I decided to try it here too.
I looked up the questions people are most often googling about grief and sat with five of them: why don't I feel better even years later, is it normal to laugh or feel relief while grieving, why can't I cry even though I'm devastated, how do you grieve someone you had a complicated relationship with, and why does grief come back out of nowhere. Obviously I don't have tidy answers to any of them, but I wanted to explore them with you, because if millions of people are searching for them, none of us are as alone in this as it feels.
I also share a bit about Soft Mondays starting back up in September, our gentle weekly space to begin the week with a card, a candle, and something that feels good, done quietly in good company. https://griefmagic.com/club/
If you have a question of your own, I'd love to hear it. You can send me a 90 second voice note over on Speakpipe, linked below: https://www.speakpipe.com/yarrowm
Love,
Yarrow

My previous episodes about friendships were well loved, so I wanted to talk about another aspect - the grief of loosing folks we used to be close to, for whatever reason. For the end of romantic relationships we have, if all goes well, rituals that support closure and clarity, but we don't always make the same effort for friendships that end. I've been looking at my life decade by decade, thinking about who I lost touch with and who I still love to talk to, tracing the reasons why we sometimes grow apart and what that can open up. I hope you can relate!
Love,
Yarrow

This is a gentle, slightly waffly episode on the last two years - the early stages of grief and shock, how I marked the anniversary this week, how I am shaping new family traditions and how I see the future.
I hope it gives you a space to reflect on your own grief <3
You are welcome to sign up for my newsletter here: https://griefmagic.com/free/
Thanks for listening!
Love,
Yarrow