The Healing Trauma Podcast

In this rerelease conversation, returning guest therapist & author Deb Dana answers your questions. Deb delves into the Polyvagal Theory, explaining its significance in understanding the autonomic nervous system and its impact on our daily experiences. She discusses the hierarchy of the nervous system, the importance of co-regulation, and the process of befriending one's nervous system. The conversation also addresses the challenges of building capacity in a reactive system, practicing regulating tools, and navigating anxiety. She also emphasizes the need for safe connections and the role of attachment and boundaries in our relationships, providing insights into how to reshape our nervous systems for better emotional health.
takeaways
Polyvagal Theory helps us understand our autonomic nervous system.
The autonomic nervous system has a hierarchy of responses.
Ventral state is where we experience wellbeing.
Co-regulation is essential for survival and thriving.
Befriending your nervous system is a process of gathering information.
Building capacity in a reactive system takes time and patience.
Practicing regulating tools is crucial for emotional health.
Listening to your nervous system is key to understanding your needs.
Safe connections are vital for healing and growth.
Attachment styles influence our relationships and boundaries.

Deb Dana's Books & Resources:
Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory https://amzn.to/3GSm8Lj
Polyvagal Practices: Anchoring the Self in Safety https://amzn.to/4515qBj
The Nervous System Workbook: Practical Exercises to Ease Anxiety, Find Safety, and Come Home to Yourself Using Polyvagal Theory https://amzn.to/4mdNzOw
Polyvagal Card Deck: 58 Practices for Calm and Change https://amzn.to/3TZkw5m
Polyvagal Exercises for Therapists and Clients: 50 Client-Centered Practices https://amzn.to/4lYl4oc
https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/

Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey.

https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/

SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running.
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In this replay episode, Monique speaks with therapist and author Jenna Riemersma about Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and a compassionate way to work with the wounded parts of ourselves. Jenna explains why healing often starts by moving toward what we usually want to avoid, and how that shift can reduce shame, increase self-understanding, and create real internal change.They also discuss the difference between burdened parts and core self, how protective “wall” parts operate, and why healthy boundaries come from self rather than reactivity. Jenna shares a simple three-step practice called move toward: notice, know, and need.

Jenna explains how IFS views people as fundamentally good, with a core self that remains intact even after trauma
The conversation centers on the idea that parts of us are not bad, but burdened by traumatic experiences and stuck in protective roles
Monique and Jenna discuss how shame, rage, numbness, addiction, and dissociation can all be understood as parts trying to help
Jenna uses the sun and clouds metaphor to explain why core self can feel inaccessible when protective parts take over
A practical framework is introduced: move toward, which includes three steps - notice, know, and need
Jenna gives a personal example involving canceled plans and how an abandoned, rejected part was triggered by present-day stress
The episode explores why even one step of compassionate noticing can be deeply transformative
Monique asks about wall parts, and Jenna explains how protective shutdown can feel like boundaries but usually functions as isolation
Healthy boundaries are framed as something that can only come from core self, not from angry, fearful, or manipulative parts
Jenna explains why “what’s in the way is the way” and how every part can become a doorway to healing

Jenna's books:
Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy https://amzn.to/4y7KLsv
Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You https://amzn.to/45yy9OQ

Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey.

https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/

SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running.
HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast

Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA

Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

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In this mini episode, host Monique Koven explores the profound impact of attachment trauma, especially from caregivers who are frightening or unreliable. She discusses how these early experiences shape our nervous system, influence our relationships, and how understanding these patterns can foster self-compassion and healing.

Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey.

https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/

SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running.
HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast

Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA

Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

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All New Episode With Dr. Lindsay Gibson
You Can Be The Mother You Needed : In this brand new episode, Dr. Lindsay Gibson shares her groundbreaking approach to parenting, emphasizing the importance of understanding emotional maturity in children and how to foster it. Monique and Lindsay explore the dynamics of emotional immaturity, how past traumas affect parenting styles, and practical mindsets that nurture resilient, emotionally aware kids.

About our guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of a number of books, including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and her new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child.

What you'll discover in this conversation:

The core differences between emotionally mature and immature parents
childhood trauma and early attachment influence parenting
The concept of emotional needs: contact, soothing, proximity
The significance of seeing children as real inside with their own inner worlds
The importance of protective parenting and setting a safe emotional foundation
The seven mindsets that underpin emotionally intelligent parenting
Strategies to help children develop internal representations of their world
How to respond to children's behavior as a form of communication
The role of empathy and sensitivity in emotional development
Practical ways to show children they are understood, safe, and valued

Order Lindsay Gibson's new book "How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child ;

https://amzn.to/3SBLySE

Watch The Full Episode https://youtu.be/c0iuE9szrJA?si=F8uuxa5B6lw-RdRL

Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey.

https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/

SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running.
HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast

Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA

Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this replay conversation, my guest renowned trauma expert Dr. Janina Fisher discusses her model TIST (Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment) and the concept of the living legacy of trauma, emphasizing how trauma's effects persist in the body and mind beyond past events. She explores dissociation, fragmentation, and practical approaches to healing trauma by addressing these living legacies.Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation
Janina's Books
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation https://amzn.to/4uyDtMy
Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists https://amzn.to/4dbcHCC
Embracing Our Fragmented Selves: A Workbook for Trauma Survivors and Therapists https://amzn.to/4cWI4Ci
https://janinafisher.com/

Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey.

https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/

SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running.
HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast

Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA

Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy