Human & Holy

A conversation about Teshuvah through the dual lens of clinical attachment theory and Torah sources. We explore why perfect attunement in any relationship is a myth, and how the rupture and repair cycle of Teshuvah is actually what deepens our connections, rather than threatening it. Rus Devorah walks through how our early attachment styles get unconsciously projected onto our relationship with God, and offers concrete practices for moving toward a more secure, honest connection with Hashem during this season of return.

Rus Devorah Wallen is the founder and owner of Torah Therapeutics. She is an accomplished musician, performer, social worker, psychotherapist, administrative consultant, lecturer, and community leader whose work bridges psychology and Torah wisdom. Find out more at toratherapeutics.com.

Article referenced in this episode: https://substack.com/@toratherapeutics/p-212834537

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To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com

To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.

Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨

Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00:00 ---- "Back to the future," not back to who you were
00:00:18 ---- Host intro
00:01:33 ---- Rupture, Repair, and the God We Think We Know
00:02:42 ---- The myth of perfect attunement
00:04:46 ---- Why rupture & repair creates a more stabilized relationship
00:05:07 ---- Attachment
00:07:55 ---- Projecting childhood attachment templates onto God
00:09:44 ---- Is it trauma,or is it truth?
00:10:49 ---- The HALTS acronym
00:13:12 ---- "The prisoner can't free himself from his own cell"
00:15:20 ---- Mapping secure / anxious / avoidant attachment onto our relationship with God
00:15:50 ---- What secure attachment looks like relationally
00:19:30 ---- Bringing the secure-attachment framework into relationship with Hashem
00:20:19 ---- Avoidant attachment with God
00:23:09 ---- Moving from an unhealthy attachment pattern toward a more secure connection with God
00:24:23 ---- Step one: learning to love yourself unconditionally
00:25:26 ---- The shofar's sounds (tekiah, shevarim, teruah) as a metaphor for inner emotional release
00:27:12 ---- "Back to the future" — becoming fuller, not returning to a former self
00:30:35 ---- Teshuvah as "a descent for the sake of an ascent"
00:34:12 ---- The difference between reunion and real repair — Rambam's stages of teshuvah
00:41:31 --- Controlled stress as models for growth
00:42:44 ---- Starting with the smallest possible action
00:43:48 ---- Practical example: rebuilding belief in God one tiny step at a time
00:45:22 ---- Finding an outside perspective to guide the process
00:45:48 ---- Secure attachment with God makes room for doubt
00:47:00 ---- Coming to God honestly, without whitewashing pain
00:48:31 ---- Needing secure human relationships first
00:52:13 ---- Reconciling a loving, all-seeing God with the felt experience of suffering
00:52:59 ---- Her stroke story; trusting there was a purpose in crisis
00:55:26 ---- Teshuvah creates something new, not a return to a childhood faith
00:56:52 ---- Holding childlike wonder within an adult relationship with God
00:58:23 ---- Using imagination and visualization to access sweetness
01:00:20 ---- What if your childhood has no sweet memories to draw from?
01:03:26 ---- Building everyday resilience through imaginal rehearsal
01:04:16 ---- Bringing our full, imperfect selves to God
01:06:40 ---- Avinu Malkeinu: God as both King and Father
01:07:25 ---- Closing question
01:08:01 ---- Host's outro

What is Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the world, inviting us to? In this recording of our Human & Holy Rosh Hashanah event in LA, we sit with powerful Torah sources to look at the opportunity available right now to co-create a new year with G-d.

This episode explores why Rosh Hashanah is a relationship story, this time of year as a renewal of our capacity for choice, why being fully seen by Hashem can fill us with safety rather than dread, and why the mitzvah of the shofar has no single "right" sound, because the sound it's supposed to produce is whatever it produces in you.

Join us on Youtube to follow along with the slideshow of sources.
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To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com
To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.
Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨
Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.
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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00–01:44 Capacity for choice & waking up from sleep
01:45–03:56 Breath and the Shofar
03:57–07:25 Moving to a shorter line
07:26–07:53 Judgment or compassion?
07:54–12:09 Being fully seen by Hashem
12:19–14:07 What if you have a fear of being seen?
14:08–16:38 Teshuvah as ongoing relational repair
16:40–20:13 Hour by hour of the first day of creation
20:14–24:22 Ayeka: where are you?
24:41–29:36 What if.I bring no intention to Shofar?
29:37–30:16 Only the individual can say "You are my King"
32:31–35:15 What does the Shofar's sound produce in you?

So...how are we doing?

We're ringing in the new Jewish year with a Jewish State of the Union: where have we been this last year and where are we headed?

Today, I sit down with four people who each have a finger on a different pulse of Jewish life. ChayaLeah Sufrin, executive director of Beach Hillel and host of the Ask a Jew podcast, walks through the year's defining global stories, reflects on what this moment is asking of the Jewish people and gives us some predictions for the year ahead.

Comedian Chani Lisbon joins for a lighter, faster cultural check-in: why comedians are having a moment, what the whole Jewish world got obsessed with this year, and a rapid-fire round of "in or out" on everything from Pesach programs to WhatsApp statuses.

Rivki Rabinowitz, a beauty influencer and interior designer whose work has been featured in Architectural Digest, The Wall Street Journal and more, gives modest fashion the real trend report it deserves: what's replacing slip skirts, her one unforgivable fashion sin, and how she holds beauty and depth as the same thing, not opposites.

Closing with a brilliant bang is writer and culture shaper Mimi Hecht's reflections on language: why the term "Hashem" is having a comeback, why words like "healing" and "capacity" have worn thin, the return of words like service and collective, and why specificity is rising in our culture's choice of words.

Underneath every conversation, one thread kept showing up: this is the year where every Jew just wants to feel like a Yid.

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To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com
To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.
Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨
Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

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TIMESTAMPS:

00:00:00 Segment 1— ChayaLeah Sufrin: The Jewish Year in Review
00:03:31 The five biggest Jewish stories of the year
00:07:35 How to stay informed without living in fear
00:12:54 What is this moment asking of the Jewish people?
00:13:36 A worry people should let go of
00:16:16 What Israel needs from Diaspora Jews right now and vice versa
00:21:18 ChayaLeah's predictions for the new year
00:24:44 Young Jews seeking authentic, substantial Judaism

00:27:00 Segment 2 — Chani Lisbon: A Cultural State of the Union
00:27:59 Why comedians are having a cultural moment right now
00:29:16 Top cultural moment of the year
00:30:06 What everyone got obsessed with this year
00:32:43 Hot take: Why Chani doesn't want a "trendy" rabbi
00:36:15 Rapid-fire "In or Out": pickleball, WhatsApp status, and group tours to Kazakhstan
00:43:11 What people are actually craving

00:45:00 Segment 3 — Rivki Rabinowitz: The Modest Fashion Report
00:46:43 How social media made modest fashion mainstream and immediate
00:52:27 The current "modest girl uniform"
00:52:46 Fashion predictions for the year ahead
00:55:46 Modest makeovers by profile
00:57:01 Rapid-fire
01:00:12 Can aesthetics and depth coexist?
01:04:58 What modesty invites her into creatively

01:09:01 Segment 4: Mimi Hecht on the State of words
01:09:10 Returning to the word "Hashem"
01:15:02 Why we reached for substitute language in the first place
01:18:18 Choosing specific Jewish language as an act of confidence
01:19:34 Why is our culture tired of the word "healing"?
01:26:04 A generational shift in language from self-focus back toward giving
01:32:11 Rapid-fire "Replace the Word"
01:36:29 Defining Chassidic terms in plain language: neshama, mitzvah, and kelipah
01:45:02 Why the term Avodas Hashem makes Mimi emotional
01:46:55 Using words honestly

01:48:43 Host's Outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. This episode is an impactful moment extracted from the original conversation. Watch the episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VuF9NwQt8o

Rebbetzin Rachel Jacobs built a Jewish community in Birmingham, UK from the ground up: a Chabad house, a Torah Tots nursery, a Hebrew school, and a role as the only Jewish studies teacher in a school of 160 students. In this excerpt, we explore what happens when you feel called to build something and no one shows up, and how she learned to measure success by relationships instead of numbers. Rachel shares the Torah teaching that convinced her to start a Hebrew school with just six kids, and what it felt like years later watching those same kids read fluently from the Torah at their own bar and bat mitzvahs. A conversation about faith, community building, Jewish education, and redefining what success actually means.

Rachel Jacobs, originally from Los Angeles, California, currently serves as Rebbetzin of Singers Hill Synagogue in Birmingham, England. She is also the Educational Director of the Torah Tots nursery school, the Cheder, and the Jewish studies program at the local King David Primary School. Over the past 20 years, Rachel has gained recognition as an inspiring Jewish speaker, with a particular focus on women’s issues and marriage. Her warmth, charisma, and insightful teachings have touched the lives of Jewish women across the United States and Europe. You can contact Rachel via rachelcjacobs@aol.com and on instagram @Rachelcjacobs.

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To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com
To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.
Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨
Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 — The ache of being called to something and hearing crickets back
00:23 — Rachel on the early, hardest days of building a Chabad house
04:03 — The real question underneath it all: are we measuring success by numbers?
04:21 — Starting Torah Tots with six kids: "affecting children from a young age is infinite"
05:41 — The reality now: down to two kids, and showing up anyway
05:53 — Called into King David School as the lone Jewish voice for 11 students among 160
07:35 — Leading through bureaucracy and red tape: "you have to go back to your why"
09:23 — Redefining the metric of success: deep impact on one person over reach to many
09:50 — Rachel's husband and the minyan he shows up for every night, no matter the count
12:53 — The Torah source that named her calling: Matos Masei and the tribes who chose to build
12:54 — Starting Cheder Club with five boys and one girl
14:56 — Years later: those same kids reading fluently from the Torah at their bar and bat mitzvahs
16:04 — "It's the positivity. People want to be part of success."
16:14 — Outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. Watch the original episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnlNd2zd2w

In this excerpt from a past episode with Devori Nussbaum, we explore healing a blocked heart, rooted in Tanya and Chassidic thought. We explore why arrogance and honesty are opposites, the Torah's real definition of humility, and the difference between grief and depression. Devori shares how the animal soul keeps us "small, safe, and in control" and the exact language for asking G-d for help from wherever you honestly are, not where you think you should be. If you've been feeling numb, disconnected, or far from Hashem, this episode is a way back in.

Devori is an integrative psychotherapist who has trained in many different healing modalities including body psychotherapy, imago therapy, logotherapy, the energetics of food, quantum touch, breathwork, CBT, NLP, EMDR, IFS, inner child work and somatic modalities. She is also passionate about teaching Chassidus in a way that is accessible, relevant and embodied, showing people that these teachings are not just nice ideas, but a description of our reality. Get in touch with Devori and find out more about her work on www.devorinussbaum.com.

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To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.com

To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.

Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨

Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

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TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 — The antidote to the desire to be "transformed"
0:15 — Presencing your block: how to begin when you feel numb or disconnected
1:09 — Why honesty is what unlocks connection to Hashem

1:40 — The Tanya's teaching on the oneness of God and the kelipah (shell) of separation
2:57 — Pain vs. suffering: the difference between what hurts and the story we tell about it
4:08 — The void as a portal: Ayin (nothingness) as the source of infinite potential

5:09 — Bringing G-d's presence into your darkness: how tears open the way to joy
5:30 — The classic teaching: "To open hearts, to know what one sees and hears"
6:59 — Seeing past people's defenses to "the light behind their eyes"
8:22 — Living in constant one-on-one conversation with G-d
9:14 — Why we judge the external shell before we ever see the soul underneath
10:22 — The frequency of oneness: hearing it like a heartbeat, an undercurrent
11:49 — Clearing the noise: expanding your capacity to notice the sacred in ordinary things
13:31 — Where blocked hearts really come from: unacknowledged grief
14:12 — Grief, attachment, and learning to move through the seasons of life
17:25 — Is being present with pain against Jewish values?
17:56 — Merirut vs. atzvut: the Tanya's distinction between grief and depression
19:26 — Moving through the cycle of grief back into joy
21:41 — "Ask for help from where you actually are"
23:04 — Arrogance and honesty as opposites, and what true humility actually means
24:00 — Moshe Rabbeinu, humility, and the honesty of naming your own greatness
25:28 — "Small, safe, and in control": the animal soul's real agenda
26:26 — Living from the divine soul: success and failure as opportunities, not identity
28:20 — The real cost of letting go of an identity you've outgrown
30:22 — Peeling away the layers: why every threshold in life asks you to release something
31:51 — Closing thoughts