Episode 05. How to dress intuitively, with Sogole Kane
Popular Substack writer, communications executive and 20+ year veteran of the fashion and beauty industry, Sogole Kane joins me for this week’s episode.Episode TranscriptThis transcript has been edited for clarity.WelcomeWelcome to Intuitive Style. My name is Maureen Welton. Today's episode is a great one featuring Sogole Kane from Another Fashion Newsletter on Substack. I had such a great time chatting with her about her experience with personal style, her concept of intuitive dressing in 2025. Plus, I got some advice from her on how to bring fun back into my wardrobe after getting really analytical about what I was wearing. Sogole also shares her experience turning the corner on postpartum after about seven years of her body being in constant flux, and how excited she is to be coming back to her self and dressing for herself moving forward. I hope you enjoy.You posted a somewhat recent post about wanting 2025 to be the year of Intuitive Styling. Obviously I couldn't agree more. So, for anyone who hasn't had a chance to read your post, would you just kick us off by sharing what what intuitive style means to you?Yes, absolutely. Well, you know, it's a great question. Because I think the crux of intuitive style is ultimately and what it means to each individual person, because that's the true reflection of intuition. Right? So what it might mean to me could be different, to what it means to you or somebody else. And I think that's kind of the bigger message.But but really, what I was trying to get across in that post and also just my general way of thinking for this year and beyond, is to really listen to our instincts, to our intuition, to our gut when making fashion and style choices, because ultimately that's where we're going to see the the best representation of ourselves. And usually when you feel like you're representing yourself in the best way possible, that's when true confidence and comfort in your own skin tends to shine through.And, that's that's the holy grail, right? I feel like the reason we're all here on Substack or on social media talking and about style and sharing outfit photos and engaging in the discourse is because I think we're all interested ultimately in how do we achieve that, that feeling of, feeling 100% confident and comfortable in our own skin and in the image that we are projecting out there into the world.And I think in intuitive style, the way to do it because, it helps us stay true to who we are and to what's important to us. I mean, I'm getting real deep here, but, like, what do we really value? Not just in style and fashion, which can sometimes feels, you know, superficial, which, I disagree. I think it's not superficial at all, but that's a whole different topic. But I think, just in life, like how, how do we what do we value in life and how do we reflect those values in the way that we are communicating to other people? And one of the biggest ways we communicate to each other is through fashion and what we put on our bodies.So, that's really what it is to me. It's about staying true to yourself and expressing that internal feeling you have, outwardly.Like, mic drop. I couldn't have said that better myself. Just from top to bottom. I think what I'm starting to view this podcast is almost for the style podcast for people who don't care about style. Of course, knowing that you and you and I both do, deeply. But almost this, this idea of, there's not really boundaries on what it means to be stylish, or at least I think we're moving in that direction as a as a culture. I think we're moving towards this place of style is self-expression and, and giving more people, space to, to dress how they want. And, I think this idea of, of tuning inward and bringing what's inside outside is, is really the best way to kind of, I guess, broaden the circle, of people who care about personal style. I mean, everybody's getting dressed every day, and so why can't more people be part of the style community?Yeah!I don't know if that's ever on your mind too.Oh, well, yeah! I think so, I mean, listen, there's a reason it's the word personal comes in front of the word style is so many times. Right? Because at the end of the day, what we are talking about is deeply personal and and deeply individualistic to every human being on this planet. You know, the way that I interpret a trend or, you know, a pair of pants or the way a look that I'm going for is going to be completely different than how you might interpret it or how somebody else would.And and that's okay. And I think what's happened in this day and age, you know, of social media, which, by the way, is a is a wonderful thing. I think we're so lucky to live in an era where we have such access to incredible images and ideas and, and, and thoughts, you know, all around us, I think that's such a wonderful, environment to engage with and, and be a part of, but ultimately, I think the most important thing is that we have to we're all editors.We have to edit our own lives in a way that makes sense for us. And so you're receiving information and imagery and concepts and inspiration all the live long day, right? You know, you're on your phone, you're walking down the street, you're in a museum, wherever you are. You're constantly being fed information. And it's how you process that information and translate it into your own life.That ultimately is what we're getting at when it comes to expressing yourself through personal style. So that's what I think I was trying to also get at in this in this post and in general is that, just because quiet luxury was a huge trend or just because you know, something is popular or you see a lot of people wearing something doesn't necessarily mean that you have to run and go do it, too.Now, if it resonates with you and if it really speaks to you, that's one thing, because that's you having a authentic reaction to, you know, information that you are processing from the outside world, that's great. Like, that's that's what we want, right? When that happens, that's where the magic happens. But otherwise, when you're when you're doing something just because everyone else is or because it's something that's cool or it's a trend that you love, that you think is interesting, but you don't know how to translate it for your body. That's where things start to get a little bit clunky, right? Like that's where we might maybe lose the connection to who we really are and what we're trying to express. And it gets lost in the shuffle. So I always say, you know, absorb it, but take from it what serves you and leave the rest behind.I think it can be very difficult to, to ascertain whether or not we like something authentically versus just we've seen so much of it that it it's like burned into our brain. Can you share how you might discern that, whether or not a trend is for you versus just something for the world?Oh, I mean, this is like, such a great question. I love this so much. Yeah. I mean, it goes I go back to, the emotional side of it, like, where do you you have a physical or emotional or visceral reaction to something where it really like, like hits you like, and it's so hard to put into words because, you know, at the end of the day, feelings are hard to define sometimes.But for me, it's when I when I see something: an item or a concept or the way somebody put something together, and I have this like innate feeling that will take over where I'm like, oh, wow, I like that. It gets that like immediate reaction, where it's beyond logic. It's not me thinking about, oh, well, maybe like, this pair of pants would look great with this. That's all great. And those are good practices to undertake. But that's sort of, you know, step three four and five. I think step one is that initial gut reaction that you have to something. And so if you see a trend or you see an item, you know, I go back to of course, that, that Juju Viera shell necklace.I was so ready to talk about that. Yes.I mean, listen, that was like part of part of what drove that post. And I know I talked about it in that, in that post as well, and it's sort of become, you know, Substack lore at this point. But I do think that, when I first saw that necklace, because, at some point you have to see something for the first time, and then of course, you start to see it everywhere. Right? But I, I really do forget who I first saw it on. I'm sure it was, you know, Leandra Medine Cohen or somebody incredibly fashionable, but, I did see it somewhere first. And my first initial gut reaction was, oh, my God, I need that necklace. Like, it was something about the piece that really spoke to me. And, it just I had that initial emotional gut reaction to it.And of course, you know, when you find out what it is and you go and you do your research and you're like, wow, that is that is, more than I was looking to spend on a necklace at this point in time. And so you bank it and you think about it and it kind of goes on your wish list or wherever it goes.And then, of course, the thing that happens is, you know, you know, of course, you start seeing it everywhere, right? So then you start seeing it on for other chic women or influencers or whoever, and then it starts to bubble up into this like thing, this, this, this kind of entity that almost takes on its own life. I've had so many people comment on that post like, “I really liked that necklace too. But now I see it everywhere. And now I'm like, am I turned off by it now? Because everyone has it and it's not unique anymore. Should I still get it?” Like, I don't know, I still like it, but like I maybe I have the ick a little bit now because it's everywhere. It's not as like unique. And and you know, I think my comment to that and in general about this is like, while I understand the sentiment and and it's not devoid of its own kind of reasoning and value, why like why are you wasting energy and effort worrying about whether or not something is too prevalent or not prevalent enough?Like this goes back to what I'm saying is like that initial gut reaction of like, oh my God, I need that necklace. Then I knew that eventually I was probably going to have to give in and buy it, like it was just one of those inevitable things that in my mind, I was like, well, I don't know if I'm going to be able to walk away from this, but knowing the price of it, you know, again, you put it on ice, you see what happens.And even though so many other chic women started wearing it…I have to be honest, it didn't make me want it more, but it also didn't make me want it less. Like it just kind of was like almost in a way, to be honest, validating the way I was feeling like, well, I mean, the are like, clearly I was on to something when I saw that and I had that reaction, like everyone else is having a similar reaction because a lot of other people are are wearing it.And in the case of that necklace specifically, it's such a small brand that to be honest, I don't know how much like gifting they do. So I you have to believe, and actually, I think it was Grace Atwood that did comment on a post somewhere in Substack that she, she physically bought it with her own money, that she didn't get gifted it. So you have to believe if they're not gifting someone like her, they're probably not really gifting. And so that was also like kind of exciting that these women out there that we all admire and we're all in discourse with like, nope, they're out there spending their own money on things that they love too. And I think, and, you know, I'm using this necklace as an example for the broader concept, which is ultimately, if you love something and you have that reaction to it, that's how you should know whether or not to participate in it and go for it or not. You know, of course, budget and other considerations not-withstanding. But but that gut reaction, the first reaction is, usually the right reaction is what I would say.Connecting some dots too, right. You are an inherently individual person. And so even if you were to buy the same item and looking at your post that includes this shell necklace, this necklace looks incredibly different on each one of these women that you're referencing because you know, their style is different, their appearance is different. And so it's almost like the only thing connecting these women is the necklace, but it feels really individual on each person because they're individuals. And so it almost doesn't matter at some point that they're wearing the same necklace, because what comes through is the necklace as part of their broader style. And it's not just this, the necklace in isolation.100 and thousand percent like you really hit the nail on the head. It's so true. And that's ultimately, again, going back to personal style, like, how are you translating, an item, you know, a popular item, a trend or whatever it is? And how are you translating that to make sense for you and your life and your style and just who you are? You know, all of those women pictured, I would argue they're all very chic, they're lovely, they're there, but they're also so different from each other to your point. So I think always remembering that ultimately it's the the spin that you're going to put on that item. That's what's going to make it feel personal and unique and special to you.And how you wear it is going to be totally different. Chances are than how somebody else wears it. And even if you do wear it in technically the same way, you know, you have long hair, that person has short hair, it's going to look different. You know, there's all these elements that we all forget about, that are part of the personal style, you know, lexicon, if you will, that are, that all add up. They're all these little elements and they all add up to create that bigger picture at large. And so I think you make an excellent point.I just had kind of a silly thought too, which is we each have our own personal context for the item too. Right? So okay, let's say that I also decided to buy the shell necklace, which for the record, I think it's lovely, but it doesn't give me that kind of feeling. But let's say that I did buy it. You know, the people in my sphere of influence that I see daily, like my dad, for example…if I wore that necklace in front of my dad, he would be like, “oh, cool necklace.” And he would have absolutely no context for the fact that all these other people are wearing it. And he would just be like, “oh yeah, you got a cool necklace, love that for you.” Like, you know. And so I think, do you remember Jemima Kirke, the actress, at one point she, she posted on TikTok or something like that. That was like, girls, I think you need to stop thinking about yourself so much. And I kind of feel like that comes up a little bit with this idea of like, oh, it's too oversaturated; I don't I don't want to look like everybody else. I don't want to get the thing. And it's like, it's probably not that complicated. Probably nobody would even know.Totally agree with you. Like I we all live in this like, Well, not all, but a lot of us, I should say. We we live in the bit of this fashion bubble, especially on Substack or, you know, on social media, depending on who you're, you know, following on Instagram or consuming or whatnot. So it does start to feel like, oh my God, like a little bit tunnel vision, right? Or Stockholm Syndrome is probably a better. This is probably a better analysis. But but yes, exactly. And I think that, just and I think I said something like this in the post as well, like maybe, maybe just like step away from your phone, step away from the content, like take yourself out of the environment for a moment or two and, and then, you know, not only is that going to help you kind of regain some perspective, but it will also just help you again, connect to like what you're liking, what you're loving, who you are and what you're interested in versus what.Like, you know, 17 other women online are currently projecting out there. So I think like, you know, listen, the put down your phone is is is less practical than it probably, advice than it probably should be because I know how hard it is for so many of us who are either content creators and, or, you know, writers on Substack or, you know, just out there in the world.But I think it was for me, it was more like, it was more metaphorical in that we need to take a minute and step away from what we are thinking as the saturation of it all and realize that, yeah, it's it's not that serious. Like, it's just it's a pretty necklace.So if we apply the idea of bringing awareness to that feeling that we get when we see [something like the necklace], the next step isn't obvious, you know? Yes, it could be that you buy that necklace. It could be that you don't do anything about it at all. When we feel oversaturated by Pinterest or something like that, it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to disconnect or turn off our phone. To your point, like we still want to know what's going on or it benefits us to know what's going on. But we could also acknowledge that we can take-in in this information, it doesn't mean that we have to act on it. We can just look at it. If we work on this practice of of awareness and sitting with that without always feeling like we need to, to act on it. So that would be, that would be my, style intuition take on, on taking in inspiration. And actually, Kelly Williams and I did an entire episode on taking style inspiration and making it work for you. So if you are interested in and hearing that conversation, that's up on the podcast now, but I definitely agree with you. Sometimes you do simply need to turn off the phone and walk away. So it's kind of a ‘yes, and’ to me.Yep. Agreed, agreed. And I think I said that something along those lines in my post like you walk into a museum you fall in love with, not with a Monet. Are you now going to try to take that Monet off the wall and walk out?That’s such a good example.You might buy a poster version of it in the gift shop, but and that's, you know, that goes to like a whole different conversation, which is inspired by a dupe or whatever. But but I do think that, sometimes it's okay to just soak it in, admire it, appreciate it for what it is, but just know that, you know, it's not for me right now or like, I'm just I love it, but I'm not going to engage with it right now and that's okay. Like that's great. That's like to have that level of awareness is, is ultimately what we're all going for.Talking about your personal style a little bit more, how do you decide what to buy or wear? How do you decide what not to buy or where?I mean, what a question. How much time do you have? Gosh, I mean, well, welcome to the inner workings of my mind, which I becomes so much of my Substack column, but it's such a great question. I think that when I was younger and still figuring things out, in all aspects of my lives, not just with personal style, I think it was so much of it was driven by the outside world and what was going on around me.And you know what? Designers were trending and what was hot and what was everyone wearing and what which is still happening. And out there in the world. But I do think the older I've gotten, I've come to terms with what works for me, what doesn't work for me. I have a very keen understanding of my body, of what I'm comfortable in, what I'm not comfortable in, what works.You know, esthetically, for me, versus what doesn't. And so ultimately I let that, you know, years and years of trial and error and, you know, amassing that knowledge and experience over time. That's ultimately what what will guide me. Right? You know, I think, that and the fact that I was around first time the trend came around.You're like, oh my God, I am old. That's, you know, that's starting to happen more and more like, don't even get me started on the proliferation of these Juicy Couture sweatpants, coming back into style with, like, Gen Z and all over TikTok, which I can't even get into because that's just. Wow. But, but yeah, I think I think the experience, I think a deep understanding of your sense of self, and, and also your lifestyle, I've seen so many read so many amazing, pieces of content and posts on Substack from many different authors about shop for the life you have, dress for the life you actually live. So many of us, sometimes when we shop, we are shopping for this version of ourselves that exists in our brains and in our brains alone. Or maybe she comes out once or twice a year, but she's not who we are every single day, right? And so while that aspiration is lovely and we should not ignore it or discard it completely. That's aspiration. That's not reality of who we are day in and day out. Like my reality is, I'm a working mom. I do school drop offs, I do pickups, I go to soccer practice, I go to the office. I, you know, go out on date night with my husband. I go out with friends on the weekend. That's my life.Like I am not going to galas. I am not, not maybe once a year, to be honest. But like, I'm not going to galas. I'm not going to, gallery openings, every weekend. I'm not going to big fashion parties, every night. Like, that was my former life when I lived in New York. I did all of that. But now that's not my life anymore. And that's okay. But I think knowing that as much as I am such a quote unquote fashion girl at heart and have worked in the industry for many, many years and lived in New York and did all of that, I think I've come to terms with that as much as I want those crazy shoes or that incredible dress, that I would have worn a ton in my former life, it's just not practical anymore for my life now. So I think having that understanding and awareness, of your own self and your lifestyle, that's ultimately what drives those decision making on a daily basis.Hearing you say that almost makes me think back to that necklace, though, and how that necklace could be like a symbol of being a fashion person. It's a little bit glam. It's kind of eclectic. It's looks very handmade. It brings that element of whimsy and cool and in the know, but also brings this like effortlessness that all you have to do is put it on with a pair of jeans if you want to, and then it elevates it and it gives you this kind of experience or this feeling of maybe being back in that kind of more glamorous situation. But it still works for the real life that a lot of people have. I don't know if that resonates. Oh yeah. Hundred percent, I mean, yes, like that's exactly. That's a big part of I mean, listen, I loved it because it was beautiful. I think it's a beautiful it's like a almost like a work of art. Right. That you're looking at in some ways. But yes, 100%. And that's why we have to find out ways to, to that's where the personal style comes in.Like, you know, listen my, my deep down, you know, who I am is, of course it evolves and grows over time, especially as your life changes. But you know who you are. And from a values perspective and personality and character like that doesn't change that much over time. Like, it might shift a little bit here and there, or it might evolve and mature. But you know, our values, generally speaking, aren't going from, you know, a to Z over the course of our life, like so, I think, you know, knowing that and knowing what I've always been attracted to in my life, and knowing that I can't necessarily live that life anymore in terms of getting dressed to the nines and going out, because that's just not my life anymore.So how do I bring that touch of that who I am inside me? How do I bring that to my day to day? Right. And how do I, like, translate that in a way that feels good to me and realistic for my life? And so, yes, like that necklace is a great I don't want to make this entire podcast about like but again, we're using I think the necklace is a metaphor, right?Exactly. It could be anything. It could be a handbag, it could be a pair of shoes, it could be a jacket, it could be anything. And ultimately what it comes down to is like, how are you using that item to communicate a sense of yourself to the outside world? And also, we all care about what people think about us, but yes, the outside world. But more importantly, how is it making you feel inside? Like does it make you feel confident and cool and like in the know, like glamorous, whatever those feelings are like, is it making you feel that way? Because if it is, and that's a feeling you really enjoy and you like, then that's amazing. And who cares what anybody else thinks, right?So I think that's ultimately, to your point, is finding ways to translate trends or moments or things that are happening around us in a way that makes sense for us in our lives. And that's ultimately, you know, how we should be shopping to like, I think that we've lost our way collectively when it comes to shopping because of what's happened in social media and the way that shopping has kind of evolved in the past few years. And I think it sounds like, you know, with the amount of no buy and low buy and everything I've been reading about, which is amazing. But I do love that. It's almost like a we're having a bit of a reckoning where we're all going to like this overconsumption that everybody's been engaging and or a lot of people rather, I should say, have been engaging in for years and years.Like, I think we're seeing that it's not the way to go, not just for the the waste and the environmental impacts and the sustainability aspect of it all, but also because ultimately it just clouds your judgment and and it makes you feel like a less true version of yourself. So I think it's all kind of coming to a head in that way.Yeah, absolutely. And just a quick aside on on the idea of overconsumption, I always like to kind of caveat that with overconsumption by design, right? A lot of corporations and companies really want us to overspend. And so I think when individuals are doing that, it's not because the individual necessarily is like trying to to be wasteful or anything like that. I'm trying to take off some of the personal responsibility, but at the same time, we have the personal ability to kind of choose to go against that overconsumption. And I think to your point, there are a lot of people on Substack and other outlets that are really turning against that tide in a really cool way.Oh, I yeah, I love that. And again, that goes back to I agree with you. Like, listen, like I said earlier, we are fed a million images and messages and ads everything all day long. Right. So ultimately, you know, you're not going to buy everything that you see you just can't like.Yeah exactly.Yeah. You can't afford it, that's just ridiculous. But I think it's about using that a filter for your, you know, your personal style and, and other, you know, filters of your life to make those decisions and, and be responsible to yourself and your, you know, your bank account and your closet and your family and the environment and everybody around you and how you do consume and and being mindful of that.You know, it's a huge reason why I have over the past, I don't know, year and a half maybe, maybe more. But solidly year and a half really gone deep on, on secondhand and resale like it's, it's been a big, big, area focus for me, not just because I think it adds so much more personality. Because of the fact that you're finding something unique that not a million people maybe own. But also because of just, you know, the, the, the environmental impacts. Also, generally speaking, sometimes secondhand is more affordable, there's so many benefits to, going down that path. That, that I think it's why it's also kind of grown in popularity thrifting, all of that. I think it's, it's great to see, that sort of take off too.Going back a little bit. You were talking about how you've, over time, honed and, and really paid attention to your preferences and what does and doesn't feel good on your body. And I would say this is something I've also done a very concerted effort to do. I'm a little bit at this point right now where I feel like I've discerned so much that I'm starting to become a little closed off to trying new things. I'm working on a really quick post about trying out some things that I never tried before, but I'm curious if you have any advice or suggestions for how to balance, knowing what you like without being closed off to the possibility that you might like something else that you just haven't considered. That is that's so, so interesting. Like what? What a great topic. I can't wait to read that post. I mean, I don't know that there's a hard and fast like, you know, rule or, you know, set of guidelines to follow. I think going back to intuition is a big part of it. Right. So I think sometimes we get very methodical about fashion, specifically. And, and it can apply to other areas of life too. But obviously I see it more so in fashion where, you know, there's the capsule wardrobe and there is the, you know, only by five things a year or things become almost formulaic, right? Or like it starts to feel prescriptive to a degree.And I think even though metrics and having an understanding of the data or the kind of more logical side of fashion as it pertains to our lives is helpful, right? Because it's it's helpful to know, like, I generally really like pants. Like, I don't really wear a lot of skirts. Okay. That's like good information for you to know as, like a consumer and as a person, like your personal style. But just because you're a pants girl doesn't mean that you can't be open to the idea of one day, you know, maybe there's a skirt that you come across and you're like, oh my God, like, what a skirt? And then, you know, you've backed yourself into a corner of like, well, no, like I'm not a skirt. Go out and wear skirts. I never and I hear this a lot like, well, I don't wear dresses or I don't do it, I don't do x, y, z. And people have painted themselves into this corner of like, well, this is my style and this is the things I wear, and these are things I don't wear. And it's, and it's very, like it becomes very, black and white, and it's, it's not black and white, it's we have to be open to those shades of gray in between, and we have to be open to inspiration and, and taking that inspiration and again, to the earlier point, I think I saw somebody comment, I'm going back to the necklace because it's a good example, but like, “oh, I love this so much. But like, I don't wear necklaces,” For me and okay, like fair enough. I'm not here to, like, try to convince you to all of a sudden to become a necklace person. But it's like, why? Why have you made that determination that you just don't wear necklaces?And as a result, you're not going to engage in this in this piece. Now, I'm not saying go against your instinct. If that's your instinct and you're not that into it, great. Like that's the whole point of intuition. But if you're really into something, but you're almost talking yourself out of it because it's quote unquote, I don't wear necklaces or like, I don't wear skirts.Like now you're starting to do yourself a disservice, and now you are limiting the scope of where your personal style and where your kind of, you know, evolution of, you know, how you might express yourself, the directions and the possibilities that it could go. And you're you're kind of cutting it off at the knees before it even gets the chance to kind of move in a certain in a certain way.And I think that's when we have to really take a minute and be like, okay, is this really something that I want to stick to, or would I be open to trying a necklace or a skirt? And maybe I could do something different and maybe that's okay. And maybe that's like a new way of thinking about how I get dressed.And I think that's when you start to see new ideas and possibilities take shape. Not only in your own closet, but also in, just, again, how you kind of, you know, put yourself out there.I absolutely love that answer. And I have just I have a big smile on my face just thinking about it because it's almost full circle. It's like you can't just bring the awareness once, right? You bring the awareness to getting dressed as often and as frequently as possible. Right? You bring it to when you look at that picture and you notice that feeling, but then you also can notice when those feelings change over time and maybe something that you used to love you, you feel differently about in the future.I would try to bring a non-judgmental kind of lens to that and just say, oh, it's okay. I've changed. And if I think back to the person that I was when I was first drawn to that, these things were happening in my life and now these other things are happening in my life. There's been a lot of time in between, and just being open to the idea that something that we once knew about ourselves can change.And it doesn't mean that when we had that feeling, it's not legitimate. It just means that at this moment in time, maybe our relationship to that thing has changed. And that's okay. And like a couple of years ago, I stopped wearing the color red because, you know, I really wanted to bring more peace and, ease to getting dressed. And I definitely needed that at the time. And now I'm kind of coming back around to this idea of bringing in, like, lime green or kind of a rusty orange color into my outfits because I feel like something is missing or I just bring some element of joy. And the idea of bringing that in now doesn't negate the fact that at one point, that color wasn't like bright color wasn't serving me. But it's more like, okay, I needed that for the time, and now I'm ready for something different again, and I'm going to try it. And it's going to be slightly different than that thing I had tried before, and we'll just see how it goes.Yes. Like a thousand times yes. Because style is an evolution. It's all in it. Like our lives are in evolution, right? Like we're not the same person today per se. Like, or we don't have the same life, at least that we probably had ten years ago or 15 years ago. I mean, everything changes and evolves and grows, and so why wouldn't you know your style, be part of that?Like, you know, I think that as long as it's happening in concert with who you are and the life you live and it's feeling comfortable and, and, true to you, then how about it? Like, have some fun with it. You know, I always say in almost every post I do, fashion should be fun. It's fashion, I like it. It's not a science. It's like, yes, we've we've we've turned it in. So many of us have turned it into this thing where we're logging outfits and we're like putting things into apps and we're doing it, and that's amazing. Don't get me wrong, no shade on people who do that. Like I'm jealous. I wish I had the discipline to do something. And that's great. But at the end of the day, it's emotional. It's sometimes not rational. It is, very personal. It's deep, it's complex. It's connected to so many parts of our psyche. But at the end of the day, if it's not bringing us joy, then. Then what's it doing?I mean, it's clothing as it's covering our bodies. Sure. What's important, it's functional, but, But this is so much more than that.I completely agree. It's to me that it's the inner and the outer together and making those kind of sync up. Like, I got a nose piercing last year and I, I couldn't, I couldn't say more than this other than, like, I looked at myself in the mirror after I got it and I just thought, that's how I feel inside. And now I look like that outside. And just just like deep feeling of, like whole body joy with people that are looking at me, seeing me a little bit closer to how I view myself. So I just hope everybody gets a moment like that because it was really so awesome.Oh, I love for you. Like, I love, I love when that moment happens where whatever the outward thing is, is matching the the inner thing that's like, that's that, that's your goal.Totally, totally. So we're recording this at the start of 2025. Do you have any other style or personal goals you're excited to work towards this year? Obviously we've talked about intuitive style specifically.Do you have any in addition to that?Yeah. So honestly, for me, I would say, yes, leading with intuition, which ultimately is, is part and parcel with my other kind of, goal for the year, which is to, to kind of embrace joy in getting in, getting dressed and in fashion and kind of also what we were just talking about was having fun.I am in an interesting place now in my style journey, if you will, because my youngest, child is now four, which, believe it or not, and I feel like any other moms who are listening will probably agree with me that, you know, people think postpartum is like a year after you had a baby. I would beg to differ. Everybody is different. And but the postpartum period for everybody, in my opinion, is different. And actually there's been studies that have been done. Yeah, I'm sure we could find that, when I, when I read not too long ago that said that the postpartum period can last up to seven years, which is.Yeah, you know, crazy. Fortunately. Like, I'm not surprised to hear that, to be honest. And so my youngest is four now, and which means I have a tiny bit of distance from, you know, being a quote unquote new mom yet again, and going through, like, the thick of it and and the reason I bring that up is because, you know, so much of my style, was always tied to, you know, my body and my body composition and the way I kind of looked and felt and and, you know, my size.If you will. Especially, you know, going through two pregnancies in very quick succession. It really does a number not only on your, on your physical body because it's a, you know, pregnancy is a very toxic, taxing thing. But on your, you know, psyche, your, your mentality like everything. Right. And so I think for me, where I'm at now is like, I have a bit of distance from all of those very, you know, turbulence kind of up and down and gaining weight and losing weight and, you know, very kind of, you know, roller coaster, if you will, of an experience of, of those first few years of motherhood.And I have that distance now and I think for me, the goal as I head into 2025 is to is to really now I'm finally comfortable in my own skin again, and I think now I can focus inwards on what is, you know, what's bringing me joy, what's making me happy, what is a good reflection of my personal style externally.And just like dialing into that more because, you know, for the past, God, I, you know, up until very recently, and my oldest is, you know, six. So, you know, God, I've been I've been I was pregnant seven years ago. Now seven years, you could argue, I've been in a, in this, like, constant state of flux, like, because your body image and how you, you feel in your body, anybody who tells you that doesn't affect your relationship with fashion, I'm sorry.They're like, yeah, it does. It does affect your relationship with fashion. Now some people it affects positively, others negatively. I'm not here to, you know, render judgment on everybody has their own feeling about that. But the way you feel in your own skin is ultimately your reflection also of your relationship with clothes. And so for me, I'm so excited to again, finally feel comfortable enough in my own skin where I can really hone in and start to own my style from top to bottom without feeling like I need to make concessions for pregnancy, or early motherhood or breastfeeding, or all these other things that tend to happen when women become mothers. So that's kind of my big thing.I mean, incredible. And I love to hear that you you're starting a new chapter and are able to kind of access this part of yourself that maybe has felt somewhat disconnected, for a while. So I love to hear that you're on kind of, the upward climb there.Yes. We've come out of the postpartum shroud, if you will. And, you know, I will say, yeah, I think the past, the past six months especially, I've really felt it like it's really started to hit home. And I felt much, much better about, about, you know, my style, my body, everything. Like things are starting to feel a little bit easier.Not that it's ever easy with two kids. I know it'll be a little bit easier in some respects. We've sort of settled into that, so. And that's exciting for me to be able to finally have that ownership of my body, my style, all that. I'm kind of regained that. And I'm excited to kind of explore what that means this year, onward.Incredible. And just to wrap us up, any advice that you'd give to someone trying to build a wardrobe that feels intuitive and authentic to them?Just just, you know, listen to your heart, as cheesy as that is so cheesy, I know. My goodness. Really listen to yourself. And and you are your own best, source. And and place of understanding what will work, what feels good, what feels wrong. You know, you ultimately, it's you that's getting dressed every morning. It's not the twelve influencers that are popping up on your, Instagram feed.It's you. And so, yes, take that inspiration. You know, like, of course, absorb what you feel around the world around you. But ultimately, listen to yourself, stay true to who you are. Have fun every now and then. Experiment. We don't want to feel too, restrained. We don't want to restrict ourselves so much to. To the earlier point I was making.Have a little bit of fun every now and then wear something that maybe she makes you feel a little not uncomfortable, but just, you know, stretches you a little bit like hot, like, I don't know, like, I don't know if I'm gonna like this, but I'm going to try something like this, and and you might hate it. And by the way, that's great. You hated it. You tried it. It's information gleaned. You now know that this thing was not for me. But, you know, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Right? Like, have fun. Experiment here and there. But always in a way that feels authentic to who you are. And to who you want to be.Incredible. I love it, I totally agree. Thank you, for so much fun. It's so much fun.I could literally talk to you like the rest of the day.I think we have to do a reprise episode sometime! Where can listeners find you?Well, my number one place I'm going to direct you to is, of course, Substack. It's a community I'm so passionate about. I have met so many incredible, people writers, thinkers, stylists, everybody out there, including you, Maureen Welton , on this, on this platform. So I cannot sing its praises enough. So, on my Substack is called Another Fashion Newsletter, which is a little tongue in cheek, but that's, you know, that's that's me.So please find me on there. And you can also always, you know, find me on Instagram. I'm not as active on there, but I definitely, you know, post here and there. And that's just at Sogole Kane. [Editor note: Sogole is also now on Instagram as Another Fashion Newsletter.] But yeah, definitely check it out. Subscribe to Maureen if you haven't. She's incredible. Love your content. You really you bring so many great ideas to the table. And I'm so honored to have been featured here today. So thank you again.Thank you. I really appreciate it. I feel like our work is always in conversation. So that's the best.The dream, the dream.OutroWhat a delight having Sogole Kane join me today. I had such a great time creating this episode and hearing more from her. All of her sage wisdom about how to get dressed and make sure it's still fun. If you enjoyed this episode, consider liking, sharing, and subscribing to make sure that you don't miss any future episodes. Episodes drop every Friday.Thank you. See you next week.Intuitive Style is produced, edited and hosted by Maureen Welton.Our theme music is by Noir Et Blanc Vie. Get full access to Intuitive Style at maureenwelton.substack.com/subscribe
Denmark