Dr. Ettensohn is a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating narcissism and related disorders. This podcast discusses pathological narcissism from a com...
Weekly Insights: The Cycle of Narcissistic Dehumanization
The "Weekly Insights" series is for paid members of Dr. Ettensohn's Heal NPD Youtube channel. In the short-term, Dr. Ettensohn is posting all even-numbered episodes free of charge. If you would like access to the full series, please follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join
In this weekly insight, Dr. Ettensohn explores how cycles of narcissistic wounding and dehumanization develop and perpetuate across relationships and even generations. He discusses the origins of pathological narcissism, the defenses formed in response to early emotional injuries, and how these patterns manifest in adult relationships as narcissistic abuse.
The discussion also highlights how those impacted by these dynamics may unknowingly adopt similar patterns of anger, projection, and polarized thinking, perpetuating the cycle. Breaking free from these patterns requires leaning into complexity, embracing nuance, and recognizing the shared humanity in all involved.
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10:24
Weekly Insights: Reflections on Dichotomous Thinking
The "Weekly Insights" series is for paid members of Dr. Ettensohn's Heal NPD Youtube channel. In the short-term, Dr. Ettensohn is posting all even-numbered episodes free of charge. If you would like access to the full series, please follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join
In this weekly insight, Dr. Ettensohn discusses the limitations of polarized or dichotomous thinking, particularly when it comes to self-experience.
Inspired by viewer responses to a previous episode on the false self, Dr. Ettensohn discusses why concepts like “true” and “false” self can be misleading when taken too literally.
Our internal experiences are complex, layered, and dynamic—identity, thought, feeling, and behavior are not static or easily divided into “good” and “bad” categories. Psychological health involves learning to tolerate and even appreciate this ambiguity rather than striving for certainty.
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8:35
Weekly Insights: Narcissism vs. Self Love: Understanding the Difference
The "Weekly Insights" series is for paid members of Dr. Ettensohn's Heal NPD Youtube channel. In the short-term, Dr. Ettensohn is posting all even-numbered episodes free of charge. If you would like access to the full series, please follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join
What’s the difference between healthy self-love and pathological narcissism?
In this week's episode of Weekly insights, Dr. Ettensohn discusses key differences, with recommendations for healing.
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5:17
Weekly Insights: Try This Instead of Gratitude
The "Weekly Insights" series is for paid members of Dr. Ettensohn's Heal NPD Youtube channel. In the short-term, Dr. Ettensohn is posting all even-numbered episodes free of charge. If you would like access to the full series, please follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHeT5kujD1JqHRAi-x8xD-w/join
In this episode of the members-only "Weekly Insights" series, Dr. Ettensohn reflects on the positives and negatives of gratitude as a therapy intervention, noting the potential for unintended enactments of invalidation or 'pressure to perform' in the therapy relationship. Things like gratitude journals invite us to reflect on the things that are good in our lives. But they can also reinforce inauthenticity when someone has been raised in an emotionally invalidating environment.
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5:31
The False Self: A Tragic Survival Strategy
In this episode, Dr. Ettensohn explores the insights of Alice Miller regarding emotional abandonment and narcissistic use of the child, focusing on how these early dynamics shape pathological narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Drawing from Miller’s groundbreaking work, Dr. Ettensohn examines how a child growing up in a narcissogenic environment learns to adapt by creating a false self—a facade designed to secure love and avoid rejection in a world where their authentic self is not welcome.
The episode explores the function of grandiosity as a defense mechanism—an unconscious strategy to deny the pain of unmet emotional needs—and its counterpart, depression (narcissistic vulnerability), which turns the pain inward. Both defenses serve to protect the individual from confronting a devastating loss: the realization that the love and support they needed was not available.
The episode offers a compassionate exploration of how this tragic loss gives rise to the false self, a defense that becomes both a survival strategy and a prison. Through relatable metaphors and clinical insight, Dr. Ettensohn describes the psychological toll of living behind this mask and the challenges of reconnecting with the buried authentic self.
Though the loss cannot be undone, healing is possible. By grieving the past and clearing away the defenses, it is possible to rediscover the vibrant, authentic self that has always been there, waiting to emerge.
References:
Miller, A. (1979) Depression and Grandiosity as Related Forms of Narcissistic Disturbances. International Review of Psychoanalysis 6:61-76
Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life here: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH
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Dr. Ettensohn is a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating narcissism and related disorders. This podcast discusses pathological narcissism from a compassionate and non-stigmatizing perspective. It is for individuals who struggle with narcissism, their loved ones, and the general public.