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How to Heal After the Death of a Twin
Order your pre-launch copy of the book DOUBLE HAPPINESS MULTIPLIED - What you need to know about having Twins, Triplets, & Quads HERE: https://www.doublehappinessmultiplied.com/twins-triplets-quads-book/ On the final episode of Season One of the Double Happiness Multiplied podcast we discuss the different avenues people take to address their grief when things don’t go the way they hoped during their multiple pregnancies. Alexa Bigwarfe tells us how she turned to advocacy to help her heal following the passing of one of her twin daughters, just two days after her birth. Scott Beedie gives us a dad’s perspective of the emotional struggle and turmoil he experienced when he was told one of his twin’s hearts had stopped beating t just 21-weeks’ gestation. And, Psychologist Dr Gretta Little shares some advice on recognising when it’s time you need to get some professional help to deal with your emotions. Joy and Sorrow We’ve spoken about the joys and the sorrows of multiple pregnancies throughout Season One of this podcast, and it’s clear each and every person who’s been touched by multiples find their own way to face their realities, whether it’s coming to terms with carrying more than one, two, or three babies or finding out that you won’t be taking one or both of your twins’ home. Alexa’s Story After Alexa Bigwarfe’s twin girls were born, she was certain the medical system would fix her daughter who was extremely affected by twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, sadly Kathryn passed away just two days after she was born. Her twin sister Charis had a long journey in the NICU, which saw Alexa turn to advocacy to come to terms with the loss. “In a nutshell, I started blogging both about my grief and about twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome,” “I started interviewing other parents and talking with them about their stories, and what I found was that so many situations were so similar to mine,” “Their doctors were either nonchalant about it, never mentioned it, didn’t give them all the information,’’ says Alexa. Do your Research During her research, Alexa found that there are a significant number of babies born prematurely between 26-and-30 weeks because of twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome, which means they’re impacted by all the issue that comes with being pre-term. “I wanted to really make some noise about it,” “In the year that I was looking at the research, I found out that more babies died annually from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome than SIDS,” “We couldn’t change our story but potentially if someone else got...
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15:52
Ditch the Mum Guilt Over Breast vs Bottle Feeding Multiples
Order your pre-launch copy of the book DOUBLE HAPPINESS MULTIPLIED - What you need to know about having Twins, Triplets, & Quads HERE: https://www.doublehappinessmultiplied.com/twins-triplets-quads-book/ On episode 11 of the Double Happiness Multiplied podcast, we talk about breast and bottle feeding. Lactation Consultant Judy Adams, who is also a twin mum, gives us advice about breastfeeding multiples and also shares her story of the pressure she felt to exclusively breastfeed her boys. Twin mum Rebecca Perrie and mum of Quadruplets Jannelle Snaddon also join us to talk about supplementing with formula to get some rest. BREASTFEEDING TWINS Lactation Consultant Judy Adams from King Edward Memorial Hospital in Western Australia tells us, the business of breastfeeding multiples isn’t easy and many women feel enormous pressure to exclusively breastfeed their babies, which is often an incredible emotional upheaval especially if the babies are born preterm. When you have three babies, breastfeeding is another story. Judy explains that in this situation, some mums often choose to twin feed and then give expressed breast milk to the third baby, while other mums choose to do replacement feeds with expressed breast milk. Is it important to introduce the bottle as well as the breast? Judy says she tries to be very open-minded about it, and part of being a preterm baby means that you have to have bottles, you can’t go home unless you can suck all of your feeds. However, creating an individualised plan with the mum as to what the maximum amount of breastfeeding she can do is the best strategy. If the babies are still in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at 37-weeks’ gestation, Judy says specialised teats are used to help make the baby suck. Supplementing with formula The baby has to be able to grow, that’s the bottom line. So, if mum hasn’t got enough breast milk then you don’t have any option and formula is a necessity. And, if the baby isn’t thriving then you’re running into all sorts of other problem, explains Judy. “As hard as it is, I know very well myself, I burst into tears when I first bought formula, and I ended up throwing it out anyway,” “But it’s very emotional, you’re in the supermarket and you reach for it, and then you put it back, and then you reach for it again, and I thought I better have some just in case,” says Judy. Some mums don’t have a choice. Whether for health reasons or some other complication, some mums can’t provide milk for their baby, and they shouldn’t feel guilty that they’re...
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15:41
How Parents Navigate Having Babies in the NICU with Other Kids at Home
Order your pre-launch copy of the book DOUBLE HAPPINESS MULTIPLIED - What you need to know about having Twins, Triplets, & Quads HERE: https://www.doublehappinessmultiplied.com/twins-triplets-quads-book/ On this episode, we discuss taking care of your children while you have babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson has some tips to help normalise the situation as much as possible. Joanne Beedie shares her heartbreaking story of grieving for her baby boy who died inutero while watching her surviving twin fight for his life in the NICU. And, Senior Social Worker Clare Dimer explains the pressures facing families in this situation. Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson tells us that when you’re going through your NICU journey you will need support, however, asking for help doesn’t come easily to some people and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and not completely in control. The Reality of NICU Even if you knew leading up to the birth your babies were going to come early, there can often be a sense of this isn’t what I was expecting. This is not what I signed up for, this is not what I imagined having twins would be. “As much as it sounds like it’s just a revision of plans, for many women that total change in expectations, and the change in the plans for the future, and where they thought they were going to be at what time is really difficult.” ~Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson~ Tweet This Dr Robinson says it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and to accept that this is your reality for a while. And, that it’s going to be really tough, really tough. “But, if you’re finding that suddenly getting out of bed in the morning isn’t coming that easy to you, that’s when you need to ask for support,” “It might not be until the babies are 3-months old that suddenly you feel 100% in control and committed to it,...
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16:38
Angel Babies
Order your pre-launch copy of the book DOUBLE HAPPINESS MULTIPLIED - What you need to know about having Twins, Triplets, & Quads HERE: https://www.doublehappinessmultiplied.com/twins-triplets-quads-book/ On episode Nine, of Double Happiness Multiplied, we honour the families who sadly didn’t get to take one or more of their babies’ home. Alexa Bigwarfe shares her story of grief following the loss of one of her twins, due to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson talks about the importance of grieving and reaching out and speaking to others who have experienced the loss of a multiple. And, Joanne Beedie tells us of her devastation at being told the heart of one of her twins had stopped at just 21-weeks’ gestation. They’re known as Angel Babies. They’re the precious souls who didn’t make it into the world alive, or they were only here long enough to exhale a few short breaths of love before passing away. The sad reality of multiple births is that compared with singletons, babies from multiple pregnancies have a substantially higher rate of perinatal death. This higher rate of loss is largely due to preterm birth. It’s not uncommon for one or two babies from a multiple pregnancy to die Inutero and the more embryos you have the more likely you are to have a loss. The emotional pain and the strain on the family unit after losing one or more babies from a multiple pregnancy is undeniably excruciating. Alexa Bigwarfe was has lived this very reality. She was diagnosed with twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome when she was 20-weeks’ pregnant with her identical twin girls. By the time the condition was detected, the disease had progressed to stage 3, which made treatment options less effective. “There was emotion overload just all the time, and I wanted to be happy and I wanted to have faith and believe, and I still believed when they were both born and they were both alive, I still believed the medical system was going to fix her, that it was still going to be okay,” “So, when they told us it was time to turn off the machines, I didn’t believe it,” says Alexa “There was emotion overload just all the time, and I wanted to be happy and I wanted to have faith and believe, and I still believed when they were both born and they were both alive, I still believed the medical system was going to fix her, that it was still going to be okay. So, when they told us it was time to turn off the machines, I didn’t believe it.”...
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28:30
What To Expect if Your Twins are Born Prematurely
Order your pre-launch copy of the book DOUBLE HAPPINESS MULTIPLIED - What you need to know about having Twins, Triplets, & Quads HERE: https://www.doublehappinessmultiplied.com/twins-triplets-quads-book/ On this episode of the Double Happiness Multiplied podcast, we talk with Consultant Neonatologist Doctor Patricia Woods from King Edward Memorial Hospital in Western Australia about what to expect when you have babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Mum of quadruplets Jannelle Snaddon walks us through her NICU journey. Psychologist Doctor Monique Robinson offers practical advice about taking care of your emotional wellbeing when you have babies in NICU. I’ll share my NICU story with you and I’ll read a moving letter from a micro-premmie mum written to other parents of premature babies. What does pre-term mean? A Preterm or Premmie baby is defined as being born alive before 37 weeks of pregnancy are completed. There are sub-categories of preterm birth, however, based on gestational age: Extremely preterm, or micro premmies, are born at less than 28-weeks’ gestation, Very preterm are those babies born between 28 and 32-weeks’ gestation, And, moderate to late preterm, which are babies born after 32 weeks and before 37-weeks’ gestation. Why does preterm birth happen? There are many reasons preterm births occur, the most common causes include multiple pregnancies, infections, and chronic conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure. However, oftentimes no cause is identified but may be due to genetic influences. Pre-term birth facts Worldwide, an estimated 15 million babies are born too early every year. That’s more than one in every 10 babies. Sadly, of these babies, approximately 1 million will die each year due to complications of their preterm birth. Prematurity is the leading cause of death in children under the age of 5 years, globally. In almost...
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