The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes

BUILD YOUR CASTLE. Love at first sight is bullshit. A relationship is like a castle. You find a plot of land that has a lot of potential. Then, bit by bit, you build the castle. But it takes work from both of you. One person can’t be laying the bricks while the other is home watching TV. After lots of hard work, you’ll have something unique and ornate that belongs to you. You’ll have a castle. That’s love. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about the key to lasting relationships with an international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene: Matthew Hussey. Matthew Hussey is a speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back. His corporate clients include Hugo Boss, The Perfume Shop, Virgin Gyms, Procter & Gamble, Bare Escentuals, U.S. legal giant Weil Gotshal & Manges, and global management consultants Accenture. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Matthew says that the “activation energy” for starting relationships is lower than ever. This causes ghosting. People are less invested in relationships. But there are ways you can meet people indirectly. So get ready to learn the three things you need to build a great relationship on Episode 811. Some Questions I Ask: Do people even want to have a committed, long term relationship? (19:00) Is a great relationship when you stop thinking about your needs and not expecting anything in return? (21:30) How do we step outside of the emotional feelings in a relationship? (25:00) When do you know you’re ready for a committed, intimate relationship? (47:00) What are the three things you need to have to sustain a relationship? (52:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: About “activation energy” and why things like Tinder make it low (10:00) Why space is important in order to not react emotionally (30:00) About the “castle” metaphor and why you need to build together (38:00) Why the “trash cans” define your relationship more than the highlights (45:00) The four stages of all relationships (1:02:30) The first step you can do to get out of the weeds of singlehood (1:11:30) If you enjoyed this episode, check out the video, show notes, and more at www.lewishowes.com/811 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

COMMUNICATE YOUR VISION. Being an effective leader is difficult. Some do it through fear. Some do it through understanding. And others lead with love. You could be super demanding and scary and get what you want. But is that the kind of life you want to lead? Probably not. Often, leading in a way where you understand other people’s concerns will be the most beneficial to you. There’s a lot you can learn from others. Ask yourself: how can you bring people together in a way that satisfies their needs as well as your own? For this Five Minute Friday, I revisited a conversation I had with the legendary director Jon Chu where he shared how he communicates his vision on set. Jon Chu directed the films Crazy Rich Asians, Step Up 2: The Streets, Step Up 3D, and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. Jon graduated from the USC School of Cinema-Television where he won the Princess Grace Award, the Dore Schary Award presented by the Anti-Defamation League, the Jack Nicholson directing award, and was recognized as an honoree for the IFP/West program Project: Involve. Learn how to enlist others in your vision and lead with love on Episode 805. In This Episode You Will Learn: The kind of leader Jon wants to be (1:00) The importance of synergy in creativity (1:30) The most important thing Jon has learned about communicating his vision (1:45) How to talk to people who have concerns about your vision (2:30) If you enjoyed this episode check out the show notes and more at http://lewishowes.com/810 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes.

THE LESS YOU DO THE MORE YOU CAN RECEIVE. Take a moment to explore your habits. Do you glance at your phone during every free moment? Do you fill up your calendar with things that don’t add value? Do you spend your day working on a job that has no meaning for you? If so, your life is cluttered. Not just with stuff, but with noise. Quieting down and clearing out our schedule can be scary because it means you may have the space to face some tough questions. But when you do, you’ll find you’re able to live a much more intentional life. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I explore minimalism with five experts on the subject: Cal Newport, Jesse Itzler, Joshua Fields Millburn, Rich Roll, and Chris Guillebeau. Cal Newport is a computer science professor at Georgetown University. In addition to academic research, he writes about the intersection of technology and society. He’s particularly interested in the impact of new technologies on our ability to perform productive work or lead satisfying lives. Jesse Itzler is an ultramarathon runner who is also a bestselling author, award-winning rapper, and an original partner for ZICO coconut water. He is the co-founder of Marquis Jets and a co-owner of the NBA’s Atlanta Hawks. Joshua Fields Millburn is the co-founder of The Minimalists, which has become a hugely popular podcast and lifestyle in the past few years. Joshua and his co-host help more than 20 million people live meaningful lives with less through their website, books, podcast, and films. The Minimalists have been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Forbes, and more. They have spoken at Harvard, Apple, and Google. Their documentary was recently released by Netflix. Rich Roll is a graduate of Stanford University and Cornell Law School, accomplished vegan ultra-endurance athlete and former entertainment attorney turned full-time wellness & plant-based nutrition advocate, popular public speaker, and inspiration to people worldwide as a transformative example of courage and healthy living. Rich became a #1 bestselling author with the publication of his inspirational memoir Finding Ultra: Rejecting Middle Age, Becoming One of the World’s Fittest Men, and Discovering Myself. Taking up where the book leaves off, in 2013 Rich launched the wildly popular Rich Roll Podcast. Chris Guillebeau is a NY Times Best Selling Author, speaker, a modern day explorer, and has been to nearly every country in the world. He is best known for The Art of Non-Conformity blog and book. He has also written guides for travel and small business topics under the brand Unconventional Guides. He organizes the annual World Domination Summit in Portland, Oregon. These five incredible teachers all have a practice of minimalism. I’ve combined key lessons from interviews with them to create a masterclass on doing less so that we can ultimately do more. So get ready to learn all about quieting down and clearing out on Episode 809. Some Questions I Ask: What was the greatest lesson you learned from Monks? (16:15) What’s the biggest personal challenge over the last few years? (32:13) If you were going to choose diet, meditation and exercise, which would you start with? (34:15) What’s the difference between a hobby and a quest? (36:39) In This Episode You Will Learn: About Cal Newport’s “30 Day Digital Declutter” (10:53) What happens when you remove your “pacifiers” (26:10) The question we should be asking ourselves but don’t (29:00) Why it can be good to have a quest (37:02) The importance of “getting in the box” (39:40) Plus much more...

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO WIN? We can have our eyes on the prize. We can work every day to accomplish our goal. We can sacrifice and suffer to be the best. But at the end of the day, you can’t define yourself by whether or not you get “first place.” If your identity depends on one thing, you’re bound to fail. You have to free yourself from tying your worth to winning. When you do, you just might see some amazing results. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about faith, family and CrossFit with the “Fittest Man On Earth:” Rich Froning. Rich Froning is a CrossFit athlete known for his achievements participating in the CrossFit Games. He became the first person to win the title of "Fittest Man on Earth" four times and has led team CrossFit Mayhem Freedom to the first-place finish three times. Froning owns and operates the affiliate gym CrossFit Mayhem, located in Cookeville, Tennessee, and is a member of the CrossFit Level 1 Seminar Staff. Rich fell off the rope the first time he competed in the CrossFit Games and got second place. He felt like a very public failure. But when he released his need to win, he became unstoppable. So get ready to learn what it takes to be an outstanding competitor, husband and father on Episode 808. Some Questions I Ask: Who did you have a deeper relationship with- mom or dad? (7:18) How did you get into CrossFit? (10:00) Did you get injured a lot when training? (20:00) How did you train your mind to prepare yourself for the whole world to take you down? (33:00) How did you handle fear throughout your career? (38:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: How Rich trained for the CrossFit Games (18:00) About the changes happening in the CrossFit Games (26:00) How Rich’s faith helped him compete (35:00) The importance of pain in daily life (41:00) About Rich’s infertility and adoption journey (48:00) The three lessons Rich has learned from his years in CrossFit (58:00) If you enjoyed this episode check out the video and show notes at http://lewishowes.com/808 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

FIND YOUR BIG IDEA. Anyone can craft an engaging speech. You have to start with something that drives you. Whether you’re speaking to one person or a thousand, once you find your big idea, you can continue with a few key steps that will guarantee to keep your audience wanting more. You must demonstrate that you can view the world from your listener’s perspective. Say what the consequences will be if they don’t accept your offer. And what the reward will be if they join your movement. For this Five Minute Friday, I revisit a conversation with my good friend Michael Port, who breaks down five key components of speech writing and why they work. Michael Port is a New York Times bestselling author and former professional actor having appeared in numerous films and on television. These days, Michael can be seen on MSNBC, CNBC, and PBS as an on-air expert in communication and business development and as the host of his own podcast Steal the Show with Michael Port. From creating a powerful speech to preparing for an interview, Michael assures that including these components will win your audience over. Learn how to write an incredible speech in Episode 807. In This Episode You Will Learn: What Michael means by “big idea” (1:10) Why you need to show your listener that you understand how they feel (2:16) The importance of feeling a little pain around change (3:50) How demonstrating the consequences before the reward is key (4:00) If you enjoyed this episode, check out the show notes, more at http://lewishowes.com/807, and follow me on instagram.com/lewishowes